Or rather, those hours on the airplane flying home from some strange city allowed me to stop rationalizing what I was doing and admit to myself what I...really needed. Her divorcing me was only the kick in the ass to get me to wake up.I realized women were nice, but that they didn’t really do anything for me anymore. I’ve had my chances and always turned them down, gently. And then said yes when a guy would message me on the app.The other thing I realized was that I wanted my coworker. This was. While it was filling, he would return the card to the driver before going over to another car to check the pump. He kept moving all of the time.The other young man went from car to car washing the windows. He even checked the air pressure on the tires. He had a pressurized air tank that he would use to add some air to a tire that was a little low. About half of the drivers had him check the oil.When it was Dexter’s turn, the young man who pumped gas directed him to drive around the car at the. " Yes, it was, wasn't it." I answered, as neutrally as possible, but only because I was teasing her. After that we chatted about Peter Fucking Davies, and what his options were come the morrow. But, we couldn't think of any that were particular worrying or dramatic.Molly came over to my flat that night. She was uptight and nervous, but trying not to let it show. I don't know whether she was trying to protect me from how stressed she was as she came to this final point of losing Peter from her. As I entered the living room again, I heard her say, ‘When did you get all this great scotch?’ I remembered then that she loved single malt scotch, too. I told her, ‘Well, your sister liked wine, not hard liquor. We always tried to do things together. Since I knew we couldn’t share scotch together, I mostly bought wine. I liked it, too, and sharing it made it ‘our thing,’ not ‘my thing’ or ‘her thing.’ I only had a bottle or two of scotch in the house, which is what the two of us shared when.
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